A Three-Day Resurrection

     Ya sure, a good 3-month session in rehab does a body good; better than 3 quarts of fresh cows milk fer shur. I'm back and fresher than ever.

     This here's a story of a man named Jed, Dick (Name changed to disguise the guilty.), and his quest to have a reasonably priced, reasonably reliable, Lil' Red Sports Car for his son to drive to school, band and Lacrosse practice. (You thought it was a male mid-life crisis - second childhood thing didn't you?)

     Enter Sven, stuffing himself once again at the sushi bar and swilling bottles of cold 1liter Asahi Dry like Ripped Force at a health club. (Before 3-month re-hab.)

     "Ya Sure I can find you a sports car," I spouted as I finished the 3rd liter and the second order of hamachi. "I can even get you one for free!"

     "No Way" said the tricky Dickster, "they just don't give these things away!"

     "Way!" says I and finished an Asahi.

     I proceeded at the next computer session, once my red watery eyes dried up, to return the e-mail of my British friend Chad that had been after me to take, for free, an 1800 he's had stored behind a rental duplex he owns. This is not the fairy tale ending you are thinking here folks, as this free car has been painted 1977 Volvo Sedan Green, not red!

     Well, Dick got with Chad and a match was made, not in heaven but in Clairemont, just up the street from where Volvo Leon (Leon the Nordic Brewer) used to live and brew that fantastic wheat beer that took 1st place at the Del Mar Fair, 1995. Give a man a fish, he eats for a day; show him how to brew, he wins a 1st place Blue Ribbon!

     "When can you come and start this car?” asked Dicky at the next sushi session.

     "Well" said I, "How’s about this Sunday afternoon during the Pats/Chargers football game? You buy us a case of Samuel Adams Ale, and I'll be there for kick-off. We'll have her running by half-time, ya shur, you-betcha!"

     After the first sixer was finished, and with a commercial in progress, we teetered out to the garage to do the dirty deed. "But we have no keys." complains Dick. Not to worry, I pulled out a spare coil from my little bag of tricks - including of course a pint bottle of Absolut to ward off the cool autumn chill.

     The spare coil is required of course, for as we all know a Volvo 1800 cannot be 'hot-wired' thanks to the foresight in Sweden during the 50's and 60's of the extraordinarily high value these cars would some day enjoy.

     Ok, wire clipped to positive-side of newly purchased (on sale) Kragen battery to positive-side of std coil, another from the negative-side of std coil to distributor lead; now lets check point gap - ok, distributor cap off, hands off Absolut bottle and onto lower pulley/fan belt to turn engine to next breaker-point-open location… “Hey, I can't turn this engine, must be an alcohol weakness - here you try."

     "Nope, can't budge it." says Dicky.

     “Then give me a 1/2 inch drive breaker bar with a 13/16" socket!"

     "What's that?” replied Dicky.

     "Oh, man, let's check the rest of the game, I hear Sam Adams calling me to go back inside to the comfort of your warm living room, ya!"

     As you can tell, this chapter does not end with wine and roses. Turns out the engine from the 'Free 1800' was 'stuck' tight, and I'm not referring to the scene between Bo Derek and Dudley Moore in the movie ‘10’! Ya, NO!! The upside is that the Chargers won the football game and the Sam Adams did not run out!

     Please fast-forward 3 months and 1 long-term re-hab assignment!

     The Potato Vodka haze slowly clears…

Where was that? - Oh, yeah, Volvo Jim has a red 1800 that he and Panama Erik did that joint venture on, up on Whidbey Island north of Seattle. Jim bought out Erik's half when Erik came back from his Central America Missionary trip all married. (Selling all his car projects, has a nice 1958 445 starter car for sale too, inquire with Sven.)

A flash e-mail to Volvo Jim indicates that it is still available, in-fact it’s clogging up his shop and crimping his car-lifestyle.
Some specifics:

•	Has not been started in the 5 years Jim has had it or the 5+ years that it sat prior to that. It's not 'stuck' like the needle on the classical score of Bolero, though!
•	Floor pan rust has been repaired but the job was never 'completed' to Jim's satisfaction.
•	Seats, carpeting and side panels removed, but should be there. 3 of the 4 seat tracks can be located.
•	Has a 'newer' radiator from an early Model 144. Has a 'new' used battery.
•	The battery cables 'smoke' when attached to the 'new' used battery.
•	Has a fresh paint job in the correct color for that car, and model year.
•	Only has the ignition key, no trunk closure at all, key for gas filler door did, but now does not work.
•	Gas tank only physically sitting in car, not screwed down or attached to the gas line. Tank has just been coated inside as part of the 'service'. The sending unit arm is stuck, two of its mounting holes are corroded away, but the cork gasket is present and intact. Whoopee!
•	There is no front bumper, parking lights, turn signals, or grille adornments of any kind on the front end.
•	Most nuts, bolts and fitments are rumored to be within the three coffee cans found inside the car.

A Plan. A Date. Two one-way tickets to Sea-Tac on Halloween. A purple suitcase full of spare parts from the Green 'parts car', to include:

1.	Front Calipers and brake pads.
2.	Gas filler door with freshly made key from local locksmith. Can't get fixture out of door, so take whole door.
3.	Trunk closure hardware.
4.	Pair of rear shock absorbers from 'parts car', fairly new KYB gassers.
5.	IPD engine stabilizing bar, in case it skips and misses really bad?
6.	New steering coupler, uninstalled, found in trunk of 'parts car'.
7.	Fuel pump- dry for many years.
8.	Driving gloves and wool cap from rear window deck of present 'driver'.
9.	Did we forget anything? Are you joshing me son? Absolut Vodka?

     Blast-off. "Care for a drink?"

     "Sure," says Dick. "I'll have a Bloody Mary."

     "Can of Coke," says the newly reformed Sven. "Harrumpf."

     Let me say I read a lot of Robinson Crusoe on that flight, you betcha.

     On the ground we quickly remembered why we live in San Diego. A mad scramble for all the warm clothes we brought happened spontaneously. Never travel to Seattle in the middle of the winter, unless of course you are a Polar Bear or have lots of Absolut close at hand. A lot of Vodka replaces a little Goose Down. Yes, you may quote me on that.

     After a 2-hour ride to Whidbey Island (you could see the island from Sea-Tac on a clear day, if there ever was one!) we arrived in Volvo Heaven, that is, Volvo Jims' place. One garage on the property houses the finished cars, vis., A 1967 P210, the Peoples Choice Winner at Vancouver 2001; a 1964 Pea Green 544, restored in San Diego years ago - a rare color; and a restored MGB of limited interest to this cantankerous old Volvo nut. In the driveway: 1989 Volvo 240 sedan, 1964 Volvo black 122 four-dour sedan with fresh B-18 engine, 1988 Saab Turbo, and a for-sale: 1966 White 1800S Nice Driver $2k+ takes it this week!!!!!

     In the workshop: (finally) 1973 red ES, 1961 MGA Coupe, and (insert drum roll here) the subject 1967 red 1800S.

     Out back, a very nice 1958 445 project car - straighter than mine and rust free, no running gear, belongs to Panama Erik, $850 cash and 'carry'. Also out back some boat motors and trailers, and other stuff you would have if you lived on Whidbey Island.

     Well, off to bed with no nightcap, for we have lots of wrenching to do tomorrow.

     A new day, a new month, a new attitude and a new assignment faces me as I say silent curses for not bringing long johns with, as Dick did. Never travel north in wintertime without the Absolut. “Where's that bottle, rehab be damned?”

     "Sorry, you are recovering."

     "No, I'm freezing! Harrumph."

     Where to begin - you read the list - who would you assign to what?

     Sven crawled under to assess the gas line and assist Dick in removing the rear shocks that were shockingly worn out. (Remember the lead-in footage of "The World According to Garp"?)

     Volvo Jim replaced the front bumper and headlights. Sven and Dicky got the old shocks out, then I got the compressed air hose and back-blew out the gas line before attaching to the tank. That 10+ year old gas stunk so bad we had to break for lunch just to escape the smell. Can you imagine the poor engine trying to burn that crap? Why just the thought would drive a lesser man to drink!

     Fuel pump - there's no fuel pump on the car – “Jim, got any fuel pumps?”

     “Yeah, a whole bucket around here somewhere.”

     A man with one watch knows what time it is, a man with a workshop teeming with buckets and boxes of parts for old Volvos, new Volvos, Saabs, MG's, and boat motors has NO CLUE where to find his parts. The 'Southerners' worked on shocks while the local looked for pumps…finally, a bucket full of pumps was located. Two were eliminated, as they were the old orig AC Inverted Glass Bowl type. (How do the sediments collect upside down? Maybe Bob Skoog knows! Do you speak Swedish?)

     Two more were eliminated as the pumping levers were bound solid- they did not move. Three more did not pass the 'noise and nose' test to check if they seem to move air. Finally, it got down to the spare Dick brought with him from the 'parts car'. Scary stuff and Halloween was the previous day! It’s only a 5-minute install job, even on an 1800, so we were soon ready for start-up. A fresh can of starting fluid sprayed into the filterless carbs, presto, fired right up but not as soon as the prime ran out. OK, lets fill the bowls- get some gas and small funnel, hold tube high and fill to the brim. Fire, oh yeah baby, engine sounds good, runs until bowls are empty- dead again. OK, how much gas is in it? 2 gals. Not enough since the tank was empty and 'bone dry'. Into town they go to buy 5 gals, plus fill the 2 gal emergency can for the trip south. I work on the tank sending unit/inside tank seal. Wow, that sealer stuff has filled up these threaded holes for the sender. Could I find the screws within the 3 buckets of bolts? No. Find anything anywhere that looks like them, NO. Are they metric or English? Dunno.

     Back come some fellas carrying cans of Petrol, “Hey do you have the screws for this?”

     “Nope. Well, go pull one from the 122, they are the same.”

     Don't buy that malarkey, race fans!…